2013 New Year's Resolution

Lose 197 pounds... by dumping your boyfriend.

Quit your job and become a professional flash mobber.

Find a payphone. Call Maroon 5.

Date Taylor Swift and then break up with her so she'll write a song about you. And how you're never, ever getting back together with her.

Make a YouTube video of you farting in the bathtub that gets a million hits.

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